Oi met this girl
on last Saturday night
Did ma hair ma earrings
dressed smartly enough
She a kinda girl knew
how to rock the mic
got a gorgeous smile
and a pair of pretty eyes
Geezers in place glaring
like bunch of retards
She ma blind date
You lads get the fuck out
Anyway I introduced myself
Alright Please to meet yer
She and her friend
had already finished dinner
But I had a stomach problem
so I was getting thinner
The minute hand pointed
nearly quarter to eight
But I had eaten nothing all day
Cause of stomachache
from last week
So I was just sippin
on a lemon tea
Looking like a wimp
but I couldn’t help indeed
I’ve got a bloody stomachache
and I lost weight
go home and take some pills mate
I’ve got a fokin stomachache
and I lost weight
must have hurt a lot mate
I’ve got a bloody stomachache
and I lost weight
go home and take some pills mate
I’ve got a fokin stomachache
and I lost weight
must have hurt a lot mate
After thirty minutes
suddenly her friend left
YES Finally just me
and her in the space
Place was too hot so
we moved to a different base
Oi you Bring
my keys alright mate
We each brought
our own cars aye
I drove right behind
her following her rail
And on the way
I met her older sister
I was like
Hello good evening
she said Mister
Have a nice time with
my little sister
Then in my car
we drove off to Thames River
The view was well good
she was pointing her finger
To reflection of the stars
it was truly magical
Can’t be explained by maths
just a hypothetical
Illogical biological
lyrical miracle
I’ve got a bloody stomachache
and I lost weight
go home and take some pills mate
I’ve got a fokin stomachache
and I lost weight
must have hurt a lot mate
I’ve got a bloody stomachache
and I lost weight
go home and take
some pills mate
I’ve got a fokin stomachache
and I lost weight
must have hurt a lot mate
On our way to the riverside
she said to me boy you
look so slim
I thought like No I’m not
It’s cuz
I just lost a stone for realz
It’s just that I couldn’t
eat properly for weeks
Got a big broad shoulder
and six packs what
chu talking about Darlin
Anyway
the worst part was
my stomach started
to hurt again
I was like ah
Anywayz
now we back in the car again
She gets a phone call
from her sister waiting
near Kingston
For the wine party to be started
She asked me if I would like
to go with her to the party
I was like no I’m sorry
I’m afraid I can’t darling
Bollocks would really like to
know her more know I mean
But me bloody stomach
wouldn’t let go
I started trippin’
Oh bugger my stomach
requires a format its crap yo
Ain’t no weirdo
on a bloody date
that’s why I’m here for
Came back home
thought I messed up
But I won’t fall
rather stand tall
Cuz there are still
loads to sort out
Lost too much weight
need to work out
Shall be fine again
got loads to talk about
This is it see yer laterz
go dance now
I’ve got a bloody stomachache
and I lost weight
go home and take some pills mate
I’ve got a fokin stomachache
and I lost weight
must have hurt a lot mate
I’ve got a bloody stomachache
and I lost weight
go home and take some pills mate
I’ve got a fokin stomachache
and I lost weight
must have hurt a lot mate
I’ve got a bloody stomachache
and I lost weight
go home and take some pills mate
I’ve got a fokin stomachache
and I lost weight
must have hurt a lot mate
I’ve got a bloody stomachache,
and I lost weight
go home and take some pills mate
I’ve got a fokin stomachache
and I lost weight
must have hurt a lot mate