Rufus Is A Tit Man Loudon Wainwright III

Rufus is a tI' man Suckin' on hI' mamma's gland Suckin' on the nipple It's a sweeter than the ripple wine. Yes its sweeter than the wine.

Lullaby (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

I'm sick and tired of all your sob-stories Shut up and shut your eyes No more histrionics, no more college tries Stop pushing, stop shoving, stop straining Shut your mouth and button your lip You're a

Grown Man Loudon Wainwright III

You got a grown man for a boyfriend, So you better treat him just like a baby. He's a saint on Sunday, he's a bum on Monday; The rest of the week he's just crazy.

Men Loudon Wainwright III

When a ship is sinking and they lower the lifeboats And hand out the life jackets, the men keep on their coats The women and the children are the ones who must go first And the men who try to save their

The Home Stretch Loudon Wainwright III

If the day off doesn`t get you Then the bad reviewer does At least you`ve been a has been And not just a never was And you know it`s not a mountain But no mole hill is this big And you promise to quit

1994 Loudon Wainwright III

talking about a future Where nothing's left to chance If you'rre dumb, fat, queer, or crazy No one is to blame You've just been dealt a lousy hand In the genetic poker game And if you start killing people

Nocturnal Stumblebutt (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

"Well it's 3am, and so I creep Around the house 'cause you're asleep I can't sleep, I gotta smoke I think I left some in my coat No they're not there, but there's a chance I left some in a packet in my

4 X 10 Loudon Wainwright III

I are history I put up my protective wall it's 4 feet thick and 10 feet tall 10 feet tall and 4 feet thick granite, concrete, steel and brick protection for you, understand the little boy, the inner man

The Man Who Couldn'T Cry Loudon Wainwright III

There once was a man who just couldn't cry He hadn't cried for years & for years Napalmed babies & the movie 'Love Story', For

Over The Hill Loudon Wainwright III

Once you were a young man, But now you are old - you're over the hill. And you can't cross the palm of time's hand With silver and gold to make him stand still.

Drinking Song (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

Drunk men stagger, drunk men fall Drunk men swear and that's not all Quite often they will urinate outdoors Like widowed women, drunk men weep Like children curled up, drunk men sleep Like a dog, a drunk

The Acid Song Loudon Wainwright III

I was adrift in a bar room, Acting like a jerk and a kid. I knew we were asking for trouble, Trouble was what we would get. Five of us dropped in the girls' room, Psycadilisized insane quintet.

Conspiracies Loudon Wainwright III

We don't believe in "You know who" But we don't let the kids know it We're parents, who are grown ups There's a line we have to toe it But we're part of a conspiracy About this bearded big fat guy Who

Bein' A Dad Loudon Wainwright III

Bein' a dad isn't so bad Except that you gotta feed 'em You gotta shoe 'em and clothe 'em And try not to loathe 'em Bug 'em and hug 'em and heed 'em Bein' a dad can sure make you mad Man it even can drive

The Man Who Couldn't Cry (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

There once was a man who just couldn't cry He hadn't cried for years and for years Napalmed babies and the movie love story For instance could not produce tears As a child he had cried as all children

Smokey Joe's Cafe (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

One day while I was eating beans at Smokey Joe’s Café Sitting digging on the scene at Smokey Joe’s Café A chick came walking through the door that I had never seen before Least I’d never saw her down at

The World Loudon Wainwright III

Oh the world is a terrible place Look at the look on your face It says it all This world's appalling And we ache for outer space 'Cause the world is a terrible place And the world is a crappy old hole

Mr. Guilty Loudon Wainwright III

Call me Mr Guilty, Mr Guilty that's my name Without a doubt it's all my fault, I'm the one to blame You say that you're unhappy I do believe it's true Cause I'm the one, the no good bum That did it all

Happy Birthday Elvis Loudon Wainwright III

It's a lie, it's just a crock, Something some people said. I heard a cassette of you speaking On a telephone; From a bunker beneath Graceland, The king sits on his throne.

A Father And A Son Loudon Wainwright III

Now, your mother's family, you know them: Each and every one a gem, Each and every one a gem. When I was your age I was a mess; On a bad day I still am, I guess.

East Indian Princess (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

East Indian princess lives in a western dream Happy like a child, her mother is a queen You know she's safe as a cow on a Calcutta street This English way of life has got that other life beat And reading

What Gives Loudon Wainwright III

Paul & George & Ringo, just a fraction of the Fab Four Some still survive from Dave Clark's Five Washed up on the Mersey Shore Jerry has a pacemaker The hermit's name is Herman That old man's Manfred Mann

The Picture Loudon Wainwright III

in a plastic frame, A snapshot black and white.

Dilated to Meet You (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

We're wondering when you will arrive We're wondering what you'll be We're wondering if you'll be a her Or if you'll be a he Maybe you'll arrive today Perhaps tomorrow night We're hoping you won't hurt

B Side (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

It's wonderful to be alive To be a bee in this beehive It's tough as nails, it's smooth as silk It's milk and honey, without milk I work with flowers, it's my work From this, there's no way that I can

So Damn Happy Loudon Wainwright III

The sad thing is I'm so damn happy Who'd blame her if she were to slap me The sun should not shine when there's rain I should be in a lot more pain At least I should feel slightly crappy But the sad thing

Talking New Bob Dylan Loudon Wainwright III

Hey, Bob Dylan, I wrote you a song Today is your birthday if I'm not wrong If I'm not mistaken, you're 50 today How are you doin', Bob? What do you say?

Christmas Morning Loudon Wainwright III

& she got a book They weren't supposed to peek but they took a little look Tell me how long will it take for the dinner to cook It's Christmas morning There are so many presents underneath the tree A

Little Ship Loudon Wainwright III

Our relationship Is just a little ship That's out on a stormy sea We barely keep afloat In our leaky boat But still I'm hoping That you'll dote on me When we first set sail We thought we'd never fail

What Are Families For? Loudon Wainwright III

She forgets to take a pill Overload is overkill What... what are families for?

Primrose Hill Loudon Wainwright III

down On my hillside bed That's not the only reason My face is so red This nasty cut on my nose Is not from no fight I just fell down yesterday Or maybe it was last night And I used to sing and play Down

I'D Rather Be Lonely Loudon Wainwright III

(Chorus:) Loneliness is happiness. It takes less than two. I confess; I digress From it when I'm with you. Let us make a brand new start; Separate and stay apart. I've had enough having and holding.

Guru Loudon Wainwright III

CHORUS: Down in Southern California There's a guru that is guruing there He's got 250 followers They're following him everywhere He's got all of the answers to all of the questions And he promises to make

Suddenly It's Christmas Loudon Wainwright III

There's got to be a build-up To the day that Christ was born. The halls are decked with pumpkins And ears of Indian corn. Dragging through the falling leaves In a one-horse open sleigh.

New Paint Loudon Wainwright III

t cheat her A woman that kind is hard to find It?s good to take a girl In the not so very good world And walk in the park until it gets dark Sometimes I feel ugly and old Excuse me, baby, if I?

So Many Songs Loudon Wainwright III

I've written so many songs about you This is the last one, after this I'm through When I sing this one, when I do my show, People will hear it, the world will know I've written so many songs about you

Clockwork Chartreuse (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

We'll rape a co-ed. La la la la la la la la la... Beat on a wino 'til he is dead. I'll slug a hippie, you'll plug a cop. We'll go on a rampage and we won't wanna stop. Oh baby.

Breakfast In Bed Loudon Wainwright III

You're lying in there with me We stay put instead I grind the beans, squeeze the juice And butter up the toast That takes about an hour Ninety minutes at the most I like my breakfast in my bed I could use a

Tip That Waitress Loudon Wainwright III

exits in case of a fire or bomb She knows all the words to the 23rd Psalm She handles her tray with pnash and aplomb Her brother's a Quaker, her dad was in Nam Tip that waitress Tip that waitress, she's

Thanksgiving Loudon Wainwright III

memory And home cooking we're dealing Remind us that we are all grown up Adults, no longer children Now it's our kids that spill the milk And our turn to want to kill them I look around and recognize A

Inaugural Blues Loudon Wainwright III

to put us down But they weren't people, just our parents Now they're old or not around Bill and Hill are our first couple Student prez, homecoming queen Tipper's cute, Albert's handsome The in-crowd is

Between Loudon Wainwright III

Between the forest and the ocean lies a lonely strand The ocean is your mother, and the forest Fatherland.

The End Has Begun Loudon Wainwright III

in your footsteps Though I've had my ups and downs And I'll stand in the silence Until I figure it out One might fall and the other will stand And one might give where the other won't bend The night is

The Doctor Loudon Wainwright III

doctor said Son you look older than me and I'm 71 You're falling apart and not living right I went to the doctor and the doctor said Loud, you've got to stop hanging out With that olden crowd Living's a

Dead Skunk Loudon Wainwright III

The skunk got squashed and there you are You got yer Dead skunk in the middle of the road Dead skunk in the middle of the road Dead skunk in the middle of the road Stinkin` to high heaven Take a

Number One Loudon Wainwright III

on my loving room floor I get you on the telephone & you give me what for CHORUS: When it comes to lovin on the phone you are the best Local or long distance, you're better thatn the rest And when it is

Come A Long Way (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

We've come a long way since we last shook hands Still got a long way to go We couldn't see the flowers since we last shook hands Couldn't see the flowers on account of the snow What did you do with your

Y2k Loudon Wainwright III

A bunch of nerdy brainy guys a long way back Invented a crazy little thing they called the Univac For years now, they've been upgrading that thing It can walk & talk & count & think & it can even sing

Four Mirrors Loudon Wainwright III

I've slumped in your chair Tossed and turned in your bed Lurked in your lair I have lived in your head Where others were closer No one is nearer As I glimpse you in me In the hallway mirror I've grabbed

Sometimes I Forget Loudon Wainwright III

You've gone, and you're not coming back And it's hard to believe that you're still not here What's left behind, disputes that fact And your bookcase still holds all your books It's as if all you've done is