Close But No Cigar Weird Al Yankovic

You're close, but no cigar. Then I met sweet young Janet, prettiest thing on the planet. Had a body hotter than a habanjero, she had lips like a ripe pomergranite.

Toothless People Weird Al Yankovic

Toothless people...old and feeble, what I say No more of those pearly whites will they possess Their oral hygiene is frightful...a mess Lots of 'em suffering from trench mouth and gum disease At

Trapped In The Drive - Thru Weird Al Yankovic

I said "Well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either But I could eat." She said "So whadya have in mind?" I said "I don't know what about you?"

A Complicated Song (Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne) Weird Al Yankovic

No no no I was feelin' pretty down Till my girlfriend came around We're just so alike in every way I gotta say In fact, I just thought I might Pop the question there that night I was kissing her

A Complicated Song (Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne) Weird Al Yankovic

No no no I was feelin' pretty down Till my girlfriend came around We're just so alike in every way I gotta say In fact, I just thought I might Pop the question there that night I was kissing her

A Complicated Song Weird Al Yankovic

A COMPLICATED SONG Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne New lyrics by Al Yankovic Uh huh... extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh... save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just to check

Complicated Song Weird Al Yankovic

A COMPLICATED SONG Parody of "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne New lyrics by Al Yankovic Uh huh... extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh... save a piece for me Pizza party at your house I went just

Amish Paradise Weird Al Yankovic

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity

CNR Weird Al Yankovic

disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal, excreted diamonds everyday He could throw you down a flight of stairs, but

The Hot Rocks Polka Weird Al Yankovic

I said ah, no, it's only rock 'n' roll, but I like it. Ah, no, it's only rock 'n' roll, but I like it, like it, yes I do. I really really really really do do do do do, hey!

I Remember Larry Weird Al Yankovic

toxic waste on my lawn Or those wacky prank phone calls from midnight till dawn What a crazy kid Larry was always foolin' around Boy, what a joker What a funny, funny guy I'll never forget about Larry No

Jurassic Park Weird Al Yankovic

velociraptors Well, believe me...this has been one lousy day Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark All the dinosaurs are running wild Somone shut the fence off in the rain I admit its kinda eerie But

Gandhi II Weird Al Yankovic

No more Mr. Passive Resistance. He's out to kick some butt. This is one bad mother. You don't want to mess with him. "Don't move, slimeball." He's a one-man wrecking crew.

The Ballad Of Kent Marlow Weird Al Yankovic

You did a really rotten thing And let Scout take all the blame You wrecked his reputation And left that poor boy in shame Yeah, but now I think it's time To show who really did the crime Kent Marlow

Talk Soup Weird Al Yankovic

Listen to me My wife ran off with Elvis My boss shaved off my hair I've got a thing for poodles And rubber underwear And I wanna tell the world about it Right Now I had a close encounter I

Bohemian Polka Weird Al Yankovic

Is this the real life Is this just fantasy Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy 'Cause I'm easy come

Albuquerque [2] Weird Al Yankovic

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought

Velvet Elvis Weird Al Yankovic

You can tell that he's no velvet Elvis imitator. It's all I live for, it's all I need. My velvet Elvis, My velvet Elvis.

She Never Told Me She Was a Mime Weird Al Yankovic

She never told me she was a mime She never told me she was a mime, oh no Actin' like she's trapped inside a big glass box all the time She never told me, she nver told me she was a....

Germs "Weird Al" Yankovic

Sometimes I really want to be alone But that's one state I'm never in Because I know that I've got millions upon millions Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin (Germs) I rub and scrub

Couch Potato Weird Al Yankovic

Yo, Remote it ready, eyes wide, palms are sweaty There's Flinstones on the TV already, Wilma 'n' Betty No virgin to channel surfin', and I'm HD-ready So flip Garbage is all I'm getting There's Simon

Couch Potato (Parody of "Lose Yourself" by Eminem) Weird Al Yankovic

Yo - remote is ready Eyes wide, palms are sweaty There's Flintstones on the TV already Wilma 'n' Betty No virgin to channel surfin' And I'm HD-ready So I flip - garbage is all I'm getting There's

Alternative Polka Weird Al Yankovic

I am I am I am I said I wanna get next to you I said I'm gonna get close to you You wouldn't want me have to hurt you, too Hurt you, too I know what's on my mind I know you like what's on my mind I know

Jackson Park Express Weird Al Yankovic

own and operate Our own mobile pet grooming service I couldn't hold back my feelings I gave her a look, that said I would make any sacrifice for your love Goat, chicken, whatever I could never hold you close

Generic Blues Weird Al Yankovic

like I got broken glass in my underwear And a herd of wild pigs is trying to chew off my head You know what I'm sayin' Well I ain't got not money I'm just walkin' down the road Said I ain't got no

Mr. Popeil Weird Al Yankovic

(Please, no C.O.D.'s. Don't miss out on this deal.) Ah, help me. Mr. Popeil! Help me. Mr. Popeil! Mr. Popeil! Mr. Popeil! (Wo-o, wo-o. Ohhhhhh.) It slices. It dices.

Peter and the Wolf Weird Al Yankovic

But no matter how quickly Bruce tried to waddle away, he couldn't escape Seymore the Wolf who was wearing his best pair of tennis shoes. The Wolf was closing in on the Duck.

Do I Creep You Out Weird Al Yankovic

I know that you Don't know me very well We've barely met But I can surely tell No one will ever Love you like I do I like to feel The warm spot on your chair Sometimes I drool And usually

Smells Like Nirvana Weird Al Yankovic

I wish you'd tell me, I don't know Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no Dnn't know, don't know, don't know Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin' And I don't know what I'm singin' Crank the volume

Baby Likes Burping Weird Al Yankovic

You know my baby likes burping You know my baby's kinda nauseating [burps] My little vulgar one is so gross 'Cause when I hold her in my arms so close she goes [burps] And out in public it's

Theme from Rocky XIII Weird Al Yankovic

But he's no bum, he works down the street. He bought the neighborhood deli. Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat.

Foil Weird Al Yankovic

I never seem to finish all my food I always get a doggie bag from the waiter So I just keep what's still unchewed And I take it home, save it for later But then I deal with fungal rot, bacterial formation

Belvedere Cruising Weird Al Yankovic

my wits with a red Corvair And just the thought of a Pinto leaves me shakin' Now, I don't think that I could hack Drivin' a big white Cadillac With ripped up upholstery and unnecessary frills No

You Don't Love Me Anymore Weird Al Yankovic

You Don't Love Me Anymore We've been together for so very long But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?

Craigslist Weird Al Yankovic

Craigslist, baby Maybe you are too Bee bomp a chonk a donk bim bang boo An open letter to the snotty barista At the Coffee Bean on San Vicente Boulevard: I know there were 20 people behind me in line But

White And Nerdy Weird Al Yankovic

I wanna roll with- The gangsters But so far they all think I'm too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy Think I'm just too white n' nerdy I'm just too white n' nerdy Really really white

Handy Weird Al Yankovic

fix your plumbing when your toilets over flows I'm so handy, I'll bring you up to code When your dishwasher's about to explode Now you see that your furnace is needing some service I'm fully bonded, no

I Love Rocky Road Weird Al Yankovic

I Love Rocky Road [I Love Rock 'n' Roll/Joan Jett & the Blackhearts/1982] I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool, Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school Yeah, but chocolate's gettin

Stop Dragging My Car Around Weird Al Yankovic

But the owner came and pulled me off the floor. Then He took me to his little office in the back. He said, "I really like your snaggletooth necklace. Your pants are groovy, and your hair's okay.

Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet N Weird Al Yankovic

They got a little too close to the microwave, And then much to my surprise, They grew to forty thousand times their original size. They started mutatin' right before my eyes, oh my.

Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Weird Al Yankovic

They showed up on my doorstep just a couple weeks ago They looked so sweet and harmless Tell me, how was I to know They got a little too close to the microwave and then much to my surprise They grew

Buy Me a Condo Weird Al Yankovic

Wo-o-o, used to live in Jamaica, But I don't live dere no more. Had to change me lifestyle, Do t'ings I never done before. So now I'm just a lonely Rastaman, Living in dis American town.

This Is The Life Weird Al Yankovic

They say that money corrupts you, But I can't really tell. I got the whole world at my feet, And I think it's pretty swell. I got women lined up outside my door.

Achy Breaky Song Weird Al Yankovic

Barry Manilow Or you can play some schlock Like New Kids On The Block Or any Village People song you know Or play Vanilla Ice Hey, you can play him twice And you can play the Bee Gees any day But

The Weird Al Show Theme Yankovic, "Weird Al"

Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio

The Weird Al Show Theme "Weird Al" Yankovic

Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named Al And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal But the sanitation workers really didn't approve So he packed up his accordion and had to move To a city in Ohio

Bedrock Anthem Weird Al Yankovic

Well I've got I've got a doggy named Dino We do a little bowling and we drink a little vino Well I've got a little buddy, Barney Rubble Got a neighbor by the name of Barney Rubble He's a midget but

Traffic Jam Weird Al Yankovic

Carbon Monoxide Making me choke No A.C.

Alimony Weird Al Yankovic

Ooh, I took her for better or for worse, yeah Then she took me for everything, yeah everything She could get (get), get (get), get (get), get (get), get (get) (Get) Well I'm out of cash (alimony), no

Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White Weird Al Yankovic

Try to run, but my feet have been nailed to the floor. Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door, And I'm back in the very same place I was before.