A fine romance with no kisses
A fine romance my friend this is
We should be like a
couple of hot tomatoes
But you're as cold
as yesterday's
mashed potatoes
A fine romance
you won't nestle
A fine romance
you won't wrestle
I might as well play bridge
With my old maid aunt
I haven't got a chance
This is a fine romance
A fine romance with no kisses
A fine romance my friend this is
We two should be like clams
in a dish of chowder
But we just fizz like
parts of a Siedlitz powder
A fine romance
with no clinches
A fine romance
with no cinches
You're just as had to land
as the Isle d'France
I haven't got a chance
This is a fine romance
A fine romance
my good fellow
You take romance
I'll take jello
You're calmer
than the seals
In the Arctic Ocean
At least they flap their fins
To express emotion
A fine romance
with no quarrels
With no insults and all morals
I've never mussed the crease
In your blue serge pants
I never get the chance
This is a fine romance
Yes a fine romance
my dear judges
Two old fogies
who need crutches
True love should have the thrills
that a healthy crime does
Oh we don't have the thrills
the march of time has
A fine romance my
good woman
My strong aged in the wood
woman
You never give the orchids
I sent a chance
No you like cactus plants
this is a fine romance
A fine romance
my dear duchess
Two old fogies
who need crutches
True love should have the thrills
that a healthy crime has
You know Louie
we don't have half the thrills
That the march of time has
You're telling me
Fine romance
my very good woman
My strong aged
in the wood woman
You never give the orchids
I sent a glance
No I prefer cactus plants
This is a fine romance