Elphie now that we're friends
I've decided to make
you my new project
You really don't have to do that
I know That's what makes me so nice
WHENEVER I SEE SOMEONE
LESS FORTUNATE THAN I
LET'S FACE IT
WHO ISN'T
LESS FORTUNATE THAN I
MY TENDER HEART
TENDS TO START TO BLEED
AND WHEN SOMEONE
NEEDS A MAKEOVER
I SIMPLY HAVE TO TAKE OVER
I KNOW I KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT THEY NEED
AND EVEN IN YOUR CASE
THO' IT'S THE TOUGHEST
CASE I'VE YET TO FACE
DON'T WORRY
I'M DETERMINED TO SUCCEED
FOLLOW MY LEAD
AND YES INDEED
YOU WILL BE
POPULAR
YOU'RE GONNA BE POPULAR
I'LL TEACH YOU THE
PROPER PLOYS
WHEN YOU TALK TO BOYS
LITTLE WAYS TO FLIRT
AND FLOUNCE
I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT
SHOES TO WEAR
HOW TO FIX YOUR HAIR
EVERYTHING THAT
REALLY COUNTS
TO BE POPULAR
I'LL HELP YOU BE POPULAR
YOU'LL HANG WITH
THE RIGHT COHORTS
YOU'LL BE GOOD AT SPORTS
KNOW THE SLANG
YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW
SO LET'S START
'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT AN
AWF'LLY LONG WAY TO GO
DON'T BE OFFENDED BY
MY FRANK ANALYSIS
THINK OF IT AS
PERSONALITY DIALYSIS
NOW THAT I'VE CHOSEN
TO BECOME A PAL A
SISTER AND ADVISER
THERE'S NOBODY WISER
NOT WHEN IT
COMES TO POPULAR
I KNOW ABOUT POPULAR
AND WITH AN ASSIST FROM ME
TO BE WHO YOU'LL BE
INSTEAD OF DREARY
WHO YOU WERE ARE
THERE'S NOTHING
THAT CAN STOP YOU
FROM BECOMING POPU
LER LAR
LA LA LA LA
WE'RE GONNA MAKE
YOU POPULAR
WHEN I SEE DEPRESSING
CREATURES
WITH UNPREPOSSESSING
FEATURES
I REMIND THEM ON
THEIR OWN BEHALF
TO THINK OF
CELEBRATED HEADS OF STATE OR
SPECIALLY GREAT
COMMUNICATORS
DID THEY HAVE BRAINS
OR KNOWLEDGE
DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH
THEY WERE POPULAR PLEASE
IT'S ALL ABOUT POPULAR
IT'S NOT ABOUT APTITUDE
IT'S THE WAY YOU'RE VIEWED
SO IT'S VERY SHREWD TO BE
VERY VERY POPULAR
LIKE ME
You're welcome
AND THO' YOU PROTEST
YOUR DISINTEREST
I KNOW CLANDESTINEDLY
YOU'RE GONNA GRIN
AND BEAR IT
YOUR NEW FOUND POPULARITY  
LA LA LA LA
YOU'LL BE POPULAR
JUST NOT QUITE AS POPULAR
AS ME