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lunchlady land `Adam Sandler`

"This is a song..." "This is uhh, This is a new song..." "It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..." "The Lunchlady" [Laughing] Woke up in the morning Put on my new plastic ...

four years old `Adam Sandler`

Hey Why'd you wake me from my nap? I'm not in the mood To play your games Or sit on your lap You Where's my Yankees drinking glass? I want some juice And I want it now So you better move your ass And ...

The Hypnotist `Adam Sandler`

Dr. Stewart: Hi, [I'm] Dr. Stewart. Gary Phelps: Hi, Dr. Stewart. Nice to meet you I'm Gary Phelps. Dr. Stewart: My pleasure. Gary, have you ever been hypnotized before? Gary Phelps: No, I haven't. I'...

corduroy blues `Adam Sandler`

When I was a boy There was no limit to what I could eat Shake after shake after shake after shake Followed by all kinds of red meat Metabolism runnin' around so fast My body never gained to weight Tha...

The Amazing Willy Wanker `Adam Sandler`

When I was just a little wee lad I hopped on the lap of my dear old dad Something jumped and poked me good 'That' he said 'just me morning wood' A little tin soldier's marchin by Sergeant major unzips...

Creepin' On The Mayor `Adam Sandler`

Oh, shit, is that them crazy fucks from across town? They didn't see me, did they? Fuck it, they headin this way! Damn! Gotta be somewhere to hide around here! No bushes, no trees, what the fuck!? I'l...

The Mayor Of Pussytown `Adam Sandler`

Yo it's 2004 and all you candy asses thinkin ya'll real pussies ya'll ain't seen shit yet eh yo man let em know Oh yeah, guess who's back it's the mother fuckin pussy with the little nutsack don't car...

Best Friend `Adam Sandler`

When I'm at the bus stop and you drive by in your mom's car You tell me the bus already left Cause you're my best friend! When I'm at the locker and my shirt's buttoned wrong You tell me to fix it Cau...

The Mule Session `Adam Sandler`

My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing M...

The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions `Adam Sandler`

And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college." Dean: "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations on your upcoming graduation and I understand y...

Mr. Spindel's Phone Call `Adam Sandler`

[Phone Rings] [Mr. Spindel picks it up] Mr Spindel: ";Hullo!"; Student: [Whispering] ";Hey Mr. Spindel. How's algebra class going?"; [Chuckling] Mr Spindel: ";Whut!?"; Student: [Whispering] ";You're i...

7 Foot Man (Live) `Adam Sandler`

We just wrote this song on the bus the other day so just sit back and relax I'm the 7 foot man, I've commited no crime, Bumping my head into doorways, It happens all the time, I'm 7 feet tall, And I r...

Dee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot) `Adam Sandler`

He said he'd be here at seven The clock just hit 7:22 It's too cold outside To wait for my ride Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins) He said he'd be here at seven But it just hit 7:35 (already?) H...

Whitey `Adam Sandler`

Whitey: Oh they day cant begin Till the gard lets me in Then I walk for some exersise In less then a snap I complete my daily lap Then it's time to SOCILIZE I see Raidy and Ruth at the Information Boo...

She Comes Home To Me `Adam Sandler`

Though I have been a fool for love I have finally made my score I got a girl, and I don't mean to boast But she loves me the most Even though she's a highly paid whore She'll give head to a sheep She ...

Inner Voice `Adam Sandler`

I'm happily married with a house and three mistresses Even with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is Got a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Lexuses And all the girls I know got the big big bre...

Welcome My Son `Adam Sandler`

Welcome my son to your very first day So proud to be the one who brought you this way I love you with all my heart And my love is here to stay But I can't help worrying will you eventually smoke weed?...

The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie `Adam Sandler`

holy shit, this boat is sweet uncle donnie. It must be fast and shit. This fucking boat's got more balls then the fuckin celtic's lockeroom. yeah but it musta cost you like 50 Gs or something. One mig...

Joining The Cult `Adam Sandler`

Sounds of Basketball being shot around] Sandler: "Hey man, I'm joining a religious cult." Allen: "Now, that's ridiculous." Sandler: "Well, I'm joining it, so you gotta sign up too." Allen: "What are y...

Respect `Adam Sandler`

Respect You gotta show the fucking respect Over And Over

The Excited Southerner Gets Pulled Over `Adam Sandler`

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets pulled over by a cop. [Cop:] Do you realize how fast you were going sir? {Excited Southerner:] Yes..yes I do...and uh there is an explanation for th...

The Excited Southerner At A Job Interview `Adam Sandler`

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner has a job interview. [Man:] So why don't you tell me why you would be an asset to this company. [Excite Southerner:] ...Good question, I have a good answ...

Crazy Love `Adam Sandler`

Adam:] You don't mind that I think everybody's a robot and all my conversations are being recorded [Lisa:] And you don't mind that all of my pants are way too short on me and I also stabbed someone wi...

The Excited Southerner Meets Mel Gibson `Adam Sandler`

[Adam Sandler:] And now the excited Southerner gets to meet his favorite film actor, Mel Gibson. [Man:] Mr. Gibson? I'm sorry to bother you sir but this gentleman is a big fan and he just wanted to sa...

The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman `Adam Sandler`

Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background] "And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl." Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?" Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did. I - first of a...

Pickin' Daisies `Adam Sandler`

what's the matter honey, are you not feeling well? it's okay, mama will take care of you) not really sick, but don't you know i still say i am dad just mumbles, 'there goes my girlie son actin' up aga...

Red Hooded Sweatshirt `Adam Sandler`

My mom bought you when I was just 13, the brightest red sweatshirt I ever seen. She got an extra large so I wouldn't grow out, "That's too big for you!" the other kids would shout. But we stuck togeth...

Sid & Alex `Adam Sandler`

[telephone rings] I'll be up in a few! Hello? Hey, Sid, it's Alex. Just callin to wish ya a happy birthday, man. Alex, Alex, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for remembering, thank you. My p...