Please, leave all overcoats,
Canes and top hats with the doorman.
And from that moment,
You'll be out of place and underdressed.

I'm wrecking this evening already,
And loving every minute of it.
Ruining this banquet,
For the mildly inspiring and...

Please, leave all overcoats,
Canes and top hats with the doorman.
And from that moment,
You'll be out of place and underdressed.

I'm wrecking this evening already,
And loving every minute of it.
Ruining this banquet,
For the mildly inspiring and...

When you're in black slacks,
With accentuating, off-white, pinstripes, Oh-whoa-oh.
Everything goes according to plan.

I'm the new cancer,
Never looked better,
You can't stand it.
Because you say so under your breath.
You're reading lips,
"When did he get all confident?"

Haven't you heard that
I'm the new cancer
Never looked better and you can't stand it.

Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain.
And I bet you just can't keep up with these fashionistas.
Tonight (tonight) you are (you are) the whispering campaign.
I bet to them, your name is "Cheap",
I bet to them, you look like shit.

Talk to the mirror, Oh, choke back tears.
And keep telling yourself that
"I'm a diva!"

Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box on the table,
They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin.

I'm the new cancer,
Never looked better,
You can't stand it.
Because you say so under your breath.
You're reading lips,
"When did he get all confident?"

Haven't you heard that
I'm the new cancer
Never looked better and you can't stand it. (X3)

And I know, and I know, It just doesn't feel like a night out,
With no one sizing you up.
I've never been so surreptitious,
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch. (X3)