I always wondered why I never got toys as a child
Was I a naughty boy, or was I just too wild?
I always put out milk and cookies for the fat man
Just like the Goys
I asked my mother why I never got any toys

I said, "Momma, why isn't there Christmas in Israel?
I don't know why we don't hang stockings from our shelves."
She said, "Son, there isn't Christmas in Israel
'Cause it's too hot for the elves."

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
Except for a young Jewish boy in his blue trundle bed
He tries to sleep, but visions of sugar plums
keep on runnin' all through his head

He said, "Momma, why isn't there Christmas in Israel?
I don't know why we don't hang stockings from our shelves."
She said, "Son, there isn't Christmas in Israel
'Cause it's too hot for the elves."

Guitar!