Dear tough guy dear tough guy my job really blows
burgers and chicks is all my boss knows
He Takes money from babies and indonesians
Leaves me at home with them republicans
Siiiiigned Al Gore

Dear tough guy dear tough guy my name is mike
I used to box but I got in a fight
Things were going my way I knew just what to do
But you could say I bit off more than I could chew
Siiiiiigned Mike Tyson

Chorus:
Dear Al Gore and Tyson oh go stand in line
Can't you see that your wasting both your time and mine
So quit all this wining and carrying on
And pick up yer guitar and sing this here song
Siiiiiigned Big Bad Tough Guy

Dear tough guy dear tough guy my hair's turning grey
When I go to parties I can't think what to say
Maybe leather a tatoo and some kind of ring
Will remind all these youngsters I once was a king
Siiiiiing Pat Boone.

Dear tough guy dear tough guy life here is hard
I got billions of dollars and a waterfront yard
I paid for your vots, but it aitn' what it seems
Now I'm stuck in a rainstorm with a really bad team
siiiiiigggned Paul Allen

Chorus:
Dear Pat and Paul Allen oh go stand in line
Can't you see that your wasting both your time and mine
So quit all this wining and carrying on
And pick up yer guitar and sing this here song
Siiiiiigned Big Bad Tough Guy

Dear tough guy dear tough guy I'm in a band
But its toughto be second to the best in the land
Your tunes about dogs, groceries and steak
turn my guitar to mush and my heart it just breaks
Siiiggned Ozzy Osbourne