TWO, A ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

OH, I HEAR THEM TELLING ME THAT YOU'RE SELLING OFF THE FURNITURE,
KEEP MY PERSONALISED AUTOGRAPHS.
YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO ALL THE WAY AND SELL YOUR GRANNY TO THE ZOO.

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, MAY I GO TO MY PSYCHIATRIST ?
HE'S MAKING MONEY OUT OF MAKING ME LAUGH.
BUT I DON'T MIND,
I WISH THAT I COULD SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOU, OH.

IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'VE STILL GOT NO VALUES,
OH, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT SO HOT, NO VALUES,
YEAH, YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT A LOT BUT NO VALUES,
AND I'LL BE GLAD IF YOU WENT AWAY AGAIN.
NO VALUES, YEAH,
NO VALUES,
NO VALUES AT ALL.

OH, THE CITY SHARK IS AT THE DARK END OF THE ALLEYWAY,
PAYS YOUR MONEY AND YOU TAKES A CHOICE.
THE ARTFUL DODGER SAYS HE WANTS TO PICK A POCKET OR TWO.
OH, BUT YOU, YOU'VE TAKEN UP A PLACE IN HIGH SOCIETY,
A PERSONAL FRIEND OF MESSRS ROLLS AND ROYCE,
GOT THEM ALL CONVINCED
THAT EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO THEM IS TRUE, OH.

BUT IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'VE STILL GOT NO VALUES,
WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT SO HOT, NO VALUES,
WELL, YOU'VE GOT A LOT, BUT NO VALUES,
AND I'D BE GLAD IF YOU WENT AWAY AGAIN.
NO VALUES,
NO VALUES,
NO VALUES AT ALL.

OH!

OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! OH!
AH-AH-AH-OH-OH-OH,
OH-OH-OH-OH.

I LIKE YOUR WIFE'S SMILE, I LIKE HER CAR,
IF I HAD YOUR LIFESTYLE, I WOULDN'T GO FAR WRONG,
ON THE WATERS OF LIFE YOU ROW YOUR BOAT,
INTO THE STRONGEST TIDE THAT YOU CAN FIND.

ON THE DARKEST OF NIGHTS, (on the darkest of nights)
WE WERE TWO OF A KIND. (we were two of a kind)
WE WENT THROUGH IT ALL BEFORE THE TIDE WENT OUT
AND LEFT US STRANDED ON THE SHORE. (on the shore)
HOW WAS I TO KNOW?
HOW WAS I TO KNOW?

WELL, YOU AIN'T GOT NO VALUES,
HEY, YOU KNOW, YOU THINK YOU'RE HOT, NO VALUES,
OH, YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT A LOT, BUT NO VALUES,
AND I'D BE GLAD IF YOU WENT AWAY AGAIN.
NO VALUES, YEAH,
NO VALUES, YEAH,
NO VALUES AT ALL.

OH!

- "Finish it this time!"

YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!
OOH -

- "Okay, don't do it! Don't do it! Er...sorry, my fault."

- "Let's have a break, a nice cup of tea or something."