I'm not mad at her
I just don't want her to not hurt herself
Which is what she's doing
I'm in over my head
At the point
where I'm starting to dread your calls
And I know what comes next
The part where I convince you
that you're better off
Won't respond, shrug you off, look away
I'm pulling back as you fall for me
Raise my guard, put my heart in a cage
Locking you out, but I don’t wanna be
Oh this habit, I-I should fix it
I always mess things up I admit it
I'm not the girl that you think you want
And you'd hate me too
if I was ever honest
I got used to the secrecy
it's safer in the in between
I liked it till you wanted me
I'm safer in the in between
Madi says I'm just stressed
And my head's too clouded
to be smart right now
So if I had to guess
By spring I'll realize
she was right and hate myself
Sabotage something good out of fear
I know you'll show up in painful dreams
Want you back once you're no longer here
Born with a talent to ruin things
Oh this habit, I-I should fix it
I always mess things up I admit it
I'm not the girl that you think you want
And you'd hate me too if I was ever honest
I got used to the secrecy
it's safer in the in between
I liked it till you wanted me
I'm safer in the in between
I just want you to be happy
Oh, I'm so selfish
Punish myself
with the soul crushing knowledge
I willingly lost it, know
I’ll regret it and die just a little
It’s what I do best sitting right in the middle
Oh this habit, I should fix it
I always mess things up I admit it
I'm not the girl that you think you want
And you'd hate me too if I was ever honest
Oh this habit, I-I should fix it
I always mess things up I admit it
I'm not the girl that you think you want
And you'd hate me too if I was ever honest
I got used to the secrecy
was thrown off by your honesty
You're not ashamed in wanting me
I can't trust what I've never seen
My nervous heart is taunting me
I'm slowly starting to believe
It's cold and dark and lonely
I hate it in the in between