The Adventures Of The Cow Adam Sandler

And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch" [Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow] [Cow:] Moo "And now a cow who goes skydiving

Memory Lane Adam Sandler

[M4:] "It reminds me of smelling a 60 year old guys ass" [car screeches, he drops out of the car] [M4:] "Hey, screw you guys I am who I am deal with it" [M1:] "I'm glad we got rid of him his was a

I'm so Wasted Adam Sandler

[Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass] [Joe:] "Hey pal! How ya doin?" [M2:] "I'm so wasted, man." [Joe:] "Yeah, you are, oh ho ho!" [M2:] "Thanks man." [Joe:] "It's good party, huh?"

The Mayor Of Pussytown Adam Sandler

in 9 duce i got pissed on 10 times I roll solo i ain't got no clue i said please don't hit me more than a cow says moo afraid of heights i'm a-scared in the dark i walk an extra 3 miles to avoid crazy

The Champion Adam Sandler

she about to fall from grace In the land of the rising sun shadows are falling again The die is cast, the future and past coming to her at last Oh, oh, oh All she needed was a Champion Oh, oh, oh Crying

The Buffoon and the Valedictorian Adam Sandler

Buffoon: "That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head." Valedictorian: "Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."

The Goat Adam Sandler

this bad Why, when I was a young talking goat The Old Man was just like my dad I come from the hills of Europe That's where I met the Old Man He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions He

ode to my car Adam Sandler

Here we go Piece of shit car I got a piece of shit car That fuckin' pile of shit Never gets me very far My car's a big piece of shit 'Cause the shocks are fucking shot And my seatbelt's fucking

The Cheerleader Adam Sandler

Sound of pom-poms] Cheerleader: [With annoying feminine voice] "Ok you guys, let's hear some spirit!" [Performing cheer] Cheerleader: "United, we are united..

the chanuka song Adam Sandler

There's a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh.. not too many Chanukah songs. So uhh.. I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don't get to hear any Chanukah songs.

The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions Adam Sandler

And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college."

The Chanukah Song Adam Sandler

Put on your yarmulke Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights When you feel like the only

lunchlady land Adam Sandler

"It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..."

The Boss And The Secretary Adam Sandler

Now what you think of that? What do I think of what? This! My ding-a-ling! Come on, play with the shit a little Uh, okay... Lower, baby! Gettin warmer... Okay...

The Mule Session Adam Sandler

My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's

Joining The Cult Adam Sandler

Sounds of Basketball being shot around] Sandler: "Hey man, I'm joining a religious cult." Allen: "Now, that's ridiculous." Sandler: "Well, I'm joining it, so you gotta sign up too."

The Goat Song (Album Version) Adam Sandler

The Goat Song I am a simple goat I live on the back of a pick-up truck The Old Man tied me here with a 3-foot rope Am I happy he don't give a fuck He's filled with anger, and filled with rage And

the goat song Adam Sandler

always this bad Why, when I was a young talking goat The Old Man was just like my dad I come from the hills of Europe That's where I met the Old Man He was lost in the woods, I gave him directions

The Beating of a High School Science Teacher Adam Sandler

And now the severe beating of a high school science teacher." [Lecturing] "Zinc is by far the best element." "I also like plutonium." "It's just fun to say." "Plutonium."

The Amazing Willy Wanker Adam Sandler

When I was just a little wee lad I hopped on the lap of my dear old dad Something jumped and poked me good 'That' he said 'just me morning wood' A little tin soldier's marchin by Sergeant major unzips

The Hypnotist Adam Sandler

Stewart: and I just want you to relax, and you're going to fall into a deep state of mind of subconsciousness you're very comfortable, I'll be counting back from five, I just want you to relax, and

Assistant Principal's Big Day Adam Sandler

As you may, or may not know, Principal Cambell will not be here for the rest of the week due to a throat infection.

the beating of a high school janitor Adam Sandler

"And now, the sever beating of a high school janitor."

The Excited Southerner Orders A Meal Adam Sandler

Hi, how are you...I was...if you could, tell me, if you...eh, the chef salad, if it, does it come, if you come... a la carte, if you see the...I saw the breakfast menu and the, and they got the, and

Inner Voice Adam Sandler

I got a ten story mansion on the beach With a swimmin' pool filled up with the drool of Robin Leach Richer than a Twinkie, I got so much cash That to me Paris Hilton is poor white trash I take forty-seven

the chanukah song part ii Adam Sandler

Put on your yarmulke Its time for Chanukah So much funnaka To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents We get eight crazy nights When you feel like

The Chanukah Song Part II (Live) Adam Sandler

Put on your yarmulke Its time for Chanukah So much funnaka To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents We get eight crazy nights When you feel like the only

The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman Adam Sandler

Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background] "And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl." Girl: "You wanted to ask me something?" Excited Southerner: "Yes, I did.

Dancin` And Pantsin` Adam Sandler

But I found a place where the stars hang out And they taught me how to funk Real nasty It ain't too far away It's just on the edge of town Nearby But be ready when you get there 'Cause these folks

Dancin' And Pantsin' Adam Sandler

I found a place where the stars hang out And they taught me how to funk Real nasty It ain't too far away It's just on the edge of town Nearby But be ready when you get there 'Cause these folks don't fuck

Sweet Beatrice Adam Sandler

Hangin' with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yellin' "I'm goin' to the corner store," Be back at quarter to four "Don't slam you pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden from

sweat beatrice Adam Sandler

Hanging with my sweet amour She came out with a lion's roar Yelling, "I'm going to the corner store, Be back at quarter to four" "Don't slam your pinkies in the drawer" She can be like a maiden

corduroy blues Adam Sandler

to remove my shirt What made a millionaire out of Mr.

the lonesome kicker Adam Sandler

face mask What it possibly could protect, I do not know The other guys on the team Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow

The Lonesome Kicker (Album Version) Adam Sandler

mask What it possibly could protect, i do not know The other guys on the team Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow People

The Peeper Adam Sandler

The peeper, The peeper, Whats going through his head? Whoah! Climbing the tree. Slowly, quietly, Looking for next branch. Found it, got it. Window height, great view. Settlin' in, keepin it quiet.

Cool Guy 5 Adam Sandler

Looking all smooth, standing on the corner at 3 in the morning and shit. You cold, baby? You want to use me as a blanket? [GIRL #5:] I'm just doing my thing.

Cool Guy 2 Adam Sandler

[The Sounds of waves crashing] [SEAN:] This is quite the chill night. kicking back on the beach with a fine girl such as yourself. [GIRL #2:] Yeah, the waves are so calming.

What The Hell Happened To Me? Adam Sandler

What the hell happened to me? I used to have fun throwing snowballs. With my best friend Billy. Then Mom would make us cocoa if we got too chilly. But now I only get excited when I see a girl pee.

Hot Water Burn Baby Adam Sandler

[Ryan:] i don't understand, daddy [Father:] Okay, see this glass of water that I'm drinking? [Ryan:] yes [Father:] Well, this water is okay for the baby.

Crazy Love Adam Sandler

Adam:] You don't mind that I think everybody's a robot and all my conversations are being recorded [Lisa:] And you don't mind that all of my pants are way too short on me and I also stabbed someone with

She Comes Home To Me Adam Sandler

stuff three cocks in her cheek But she comes home to me She'll do the groom and the best man She'll slap your ass in the back of a van But she comes home to me She could fuck nine guys in a row But still

Calling Home Adam Sandler

Oh, wonderful... what side of the room did you take? You mean left or right or... what do you mean? What side of the room? Did you go window or electrical outlet?

7 Foot Man (Live) Adam Sandler

We just wrote this song on the bus the other day so just sit back and relax I'm the 7 foot man, I've commited no crime, Bumping my head into doorways, It happens all the time, I'm 7 feet tall, And I repeat

Welcome My Son Adam Sandler

Welcome my son to your very first day So proud to be the one who brought you this way I love you with all my heart And my love is here to stay But I can't help worrying will you eventually smoke weed?

the thanksgiving song Adam Sandler

[Starts playing] Love to eat turkey Love to eat turkey Shout from Crowd: "I love you Adam!" Adam Sandler: "Ohhh, I love you!"

Toll Booth Willie Adam Sandler

[Pays toll and drives off] Toll Booth Willie: "Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! I'll come right outta the booth and fuckin' whack ya, you fuckin' prick!"

The Psychotic Legend Of Uncle Donnie Adam Sandler

This fucking boat's got more balls then the fuckin celtic's lockeroom. yeah but it musta cost you like 50 Gs or something. One might think that but guess what? It didn't cost me jack shit.

The Longest Pee Adam Sandler

Line of people talking] "Hey man, let me in there first" -"Go ahead man, take it easy" "Thanks, I really gotta pee" [Open door, close door] [Unzip pants] [Start pissin..........groaning....]

fatty mcgee Adam Sandler

M1: "And it counts for 80 percent of our grade." M2: "Well we better study our butts off." M1: "Well we came to the right place, the ever so quiet library." M2: "Ok, enough talking, let's study!"