"Who does sho think shi is?
That girl has tangled with the wrong man!
No ond says "No" to Gaston!"
"Heh, heh. Darn right"
"Dismissed! Rejected! Publicity humiliated!
Why it's more than I can bear"
"more beer?"
"What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced"
"Who, you? Never! Gaston,
you've got to pull yourself together"
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston,
looking so down in the dumps.
Ev'ry guy here'd love to be you, Gaston,
even when taking your lumps.
There's no man in town as admired as you
you're everyone's favourite guy.
Ev'ryone's awed and inspired by you,
and it's not very hard to see why.
No one's slick as Gaston.
No one's quick as Gaston.
No one's neck's as incredibily thick as Gaston!
For there's no man in town half as manly.
Perfect! A pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley
and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!
No one's been like Gaston a kingpin like Gaston
No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
As a specimen yes I'm intimidating
My what a guy that Gaston.
Give five "hurrahs"
Give twelve "hip hips"
Gaston iis the best and the rest is all drips!
No one fights like Gaston, douses lights like Gaston
In a wrestlin match, nobody bites like Gaston
For there's no one as burly and brawny
As you see, I've got biceps to spare
Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny
That's right!
And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair!
No one bits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston
In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston
I'm expecially good at expectorating!
Ptooey! Ten pooints for Gaston!
When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs
ev'ry morning to help me get large.
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs,
so I'm roughly the size of a barge.
No one shoots like Gaston.
Makes those beauts like Gaston
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaton
I use antlers in all of my decorating!
Say it again. Who's a man among men!
And then say it once more. Who's the hero next door?
Who's a super success?
Don't you know? Can's you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers on
There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down.
And his name's GAST-GASTE-GASTO-O- Oh!
Gaston~