OOOH...ONE, TWO...

MAMA, I GUESS YOU HAVE STOOD AND CURSED
THE DAY I FOUND THAT OLD GUITAR.
WHEN UNCLE HARRY DIED,
THE ONE WE FOUND IN THE BOOT OF HIS OLD CAR.
I REMEMBER HOW MY LITTLE FINGERS BLISTERED
WHEN I TRIED TO LEARN TO PLAY,
I BET YOU NEVER DREAMED THAT OLD GUITAR
WOULD PUT ME WHERE I AM TODAY.

YES, IT'S BEEN A LOT OF YEARS,
I GUESS IT'S BEEN AN INTERESTING LIFE.
NO, MAM, I NEVER FOUND ANOTHER WOMAN
THAT I WANTED FOR A WIFE.
I GUESS THE FIRST TIME SHOWED US
THAT I WASN'T THE DOMESTICATED KIND,
BUT I DON'T BLAME HER FOR GETTING TIRED
OF LIVING FROM A SUITCASE ALL THE TIME.

YES, I KNOW SOMETIMES IT LOOKS
LIKE I'VE JUST SIMPLY THROWN MY LIFE AWAY.
I JUST ALWAYS FIGURED THAT IF I HUNG ON,
I'D MAKE IT BIG SOME DAY.
I GUESS IT TAKES A SPECIAL BREED
TO LIVE THIS LIFE AND THINK THE WAY I DO,
BUT YOU'LL BE GLAD TO HEAR THAT ANY MORE
I AIN'T NEAR AS BAD TO DRINK.

HOW IS TOMMY DOING WITH THE BUSINESS
NOW THAT DADDY'S PASSED AWAY?
I'M SURE DADDY ALWAYS KNEW THAT TOM
WOULD BE THE ONE TO TAKE HIS PLACE.
AND WHEN HE TRIED TO LECTURE ME,
I'D SIT AND PICK AND SING AND LET HIM NAG,
BUT WAY DOWN DEEP INSIDE I THINK
HE ALWAYS KNEW THAT HARDWARE AIN'T MY BAG.

WE OPEN MONDAY NIGHT IN BOLTON CITY
FOR ANOTHER TWO WEEK STAND,
I WISH THERE WAS SOME WAY THAT YOU AND TOM
COULD COME AND HEAR MY BAND.
WISH I HAD THE TIME TO TELL YOU 'BOUT THE
PLACES THAT I'VE BEEN, THE THINGS I SAW.
AND I'LL SEND THE FIFTEEN DOLLARS SOON
AS I GET TO THE CLUB AND MAKE A DRAW.

WHEN YOU'RE HOT, YOU'RE HOT THERE...
AH, I MEAN, AH, WHEN...WHAT IS...
WHEN YOU'RE HOT, YOU'RE HOT, YEAH, OKAY...
MM-MM
BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA-BA!
ALL RIGHT.
HO!

I'VE GOT MY DOG AND HE'S REAL MEAN!