Your ears fell off in the parking lot
Your blood's still dripping, God I hope it clots
You say you're okay but we know you're not
Your eyes went crossed, do you see spots?

Well I'm not sayin that you're gonna die
I just might be hinting that you'll feel a little ill
And I guess we all learned a lesson
And I guess we'll all get a little thrill

You hands fell off and then your mind eroded
Your arms fell asleep and then your lungs corroded
Your shoulders slumped forward then your heart exploded
It looked pretty gross, so we all got loaded

Well I'm not sayin that you're gonna die
I just might be hinting  that you won't be around
And you can go ahead and sell all your records
Cause you've got an appointment six feet underground

And you've got an earwig
And it's crawling towards your brain
You've got an earwig
The glorious pain

Your mind went blank about a week ago
Your hair fell out but you didn't know
You might wanna relax and take it slow
Cause in a couple of days you might begin to glow

Well I'm not saying that you're gonna die
I just might be hinting that you'll puke a lot
And could you pay me that money you owe me
You know I really hate to put you on the spot

Cause you've got an earwig
Crawling towards your brain
You've got an earwig
Such fashionalble pain

Well I'm not sayin that you're gonna die
I just might be hinting that you'll feel a little ill
And I guess we all learned a lesson
And I guess we'll all get a little thrill