She'll have another piece of pie
She'll have a double reuben rye
She works hard at eating well
That's why I love her

She's got a couple of pony kegs
Her arms are bigger than my legs
And when she holds me I can't breathe
That's why I love her

I'm her butter she's my bread
She's like a mobile waterbed
And when I got on top of her
I can't touch the mattress

And when her flesh begins to sag
She's like a human sleeping bag
I feel so cozy, safe and warm
She's my insulation

I always know where she sat
And when she's on me I get flat
Some broken ribs a punctured lung
That's why I love her

She's my Phillie I'm her Stud
Her bean is bigger than my pud
It's like feeding a tic-tac to a whale
That's why I love her