* this is the UNEDITED version with a different 2nd verse

Chorus: repeat 2X

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
for one second?

[Eminem]
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight
but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!

Chorus

[Eminem]
My English teacher wanted to have sex in junior high
The only problem was my English teacher was a guy
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
and stapled his nuts to a stack of paper (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup (Wsssshhhhh...)
Extraterrestrial, killin pedestrians
Rapin lesbians while they screamin: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!'

Chorus

[Eminem]
Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!) YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had

Chorus