"Ray's guitar broke. Now we wanna play rawhide, we'll play anything.
We'll play the theme from the Dinah Shore Show. Who wants to be Dinah
Shore? Who's alter-ego is Dinah Shore? Oh, his fist didn't go up so
quickly this time! Yawn... yawn... yawn... Put them headphones on, it's
bee-bop time. I wanna tell you a story, about the last time I was in
Portland. The night before we played at the Long Goodbye, I was walkin'
on the street about 10:30 at night, a lot of people go to bed around here
at 10:30 at night, and well, I was walkin' along, when suddenly these
jocks in this bright blue pickup drove up. It had KC lights, tractor
tires, everything but the CB. It was a life-sized Hot Wheels car for
some dumb rich kid, right? Well, they drove up to me, and they yelled
what drunk dumb rich kids usually yell, 'Hey faggot!' and showered me
with some water. So, I stood there thinking, what a bunch of fuckheads,
and picked up a rock. Now, I waited, and walked down about a block to
where the Kentucky Fried Chicken is, on Burnside, and sure enough, they
drove around again. They said, 'Hey, faggot, where's the nearest
McDonald's?' I said 'I don't know,' and they squirted me again. So I
THREW THE ROCK! and put a nice-sized dent in their giant Hot Wheels car.
They screeched to a halt in the parking lot of some dept. store whose
name I don't remember, it's up the street from Fred Meyer's. And they
got out there clubs, and they ran after me yelling 'We're gonna kill you,
goddam faggot, we're gonna kill you, motherfucker.' So I got in the
phonebooth by the Kentucky Fried Chicken on Burnside, held my legs
straight out, like this, so they couldn't open the door to the
phonebooth. So they began charging the phonebooth, beating on it with
their clubs yelling 'We're gonna kill you, motherfucker, we're gonna kill
you, goddam faggot'. I just looked at them. So, there was a crowd
gathering by this time, and these kids were standing nearby, and they
said 'Oh, look at him, he's insane.' I thought, aha, here's my way out,
I yelled at them, 'take me to a mental hospital right away, I wanna be
put away, please put me away, c'mon call the cops and put me away.
Please put me away now!' They said, 'Alright, faggot, we're callin' the
police.' So they called the police, the cop comes out and I go 'Ah, my
savior, and away from these jocks.' He opens up the door. 'Get outta
there, you!' He throws me up against the car, frisks me, shoves me in
the back. Then, he goes over to the jocks. 'Now what happend here?
Looks like we're gonna have to take him to jail, but, we gotta have the
full story first.' So, the jocks, who had an ace in the hole, ace in the
hole-take it down on the bass, little bit down on the bass, yeah- ace in
the hole, they go 'Well goddam, this motherfucker put a dent in my truck,
this 9,000 (?90,000?) dollar truck, right? So I got my club, I went out
and I wanted to kill him. I wanna kill him, let me kill him, goddamit,
let me kill him! So the cop made them go home, and he drove me home, and
he confiscated their club and my rock as further evidence. And I
thought, So this is Oregon, huh? Tolerant Oregon. Ray, are you done
with your guitar, yet? He isn't done yet. So what else do you wanna
hear, I'm outta stories. That's a true story too, just ask..."
"Ray's guitar broke. Now we wanna play rawhide, we'll play anything.
We'll play the theme from the Dinah Shore Show. Who wants to be Dinah
Shore? Who's alter-ego is Dinah Shore? Oh, his fist didn't go up so
quickly this time! Yawn... yawn... yawn... Put them headphones on, it's
bee-bop time. I wanna tell you a story, about the last time I was in
Portland. The night before we played at the Long Goodbye, I was walkin'
on the street about 10:30 at night, a lot of people go to bed around here
at 10:30 at night, and well, I was walkin' along, when suddenly these
jocks in this bright blue pickup drove up. It had KC lights, tractor
tires, everything but the CB. It was a life-sized Hot Wheels car for
some dumb rich kid, right? Well, they drove up to me, and they yelled
what drunk dumb rich kids usually yell, 'Hey faggot!' and showered me
with some water. So, I stood there thinking, what a bunch of fuckheads,
and picked up a rock. Now, I waited, and walked down about a block to
where the Kentucky Fried Chicken is, on Burnside, and sure enough, they
drove around again. They said, 'Hey, faggot, where's the nearest
McDonald's?' I said 'I don't know,' and they squirted me again. So I
THREW THE ROCK! and put a nice-sized dent in their giant Hot Wheels car.
They screeched to a halt in the parking lot of some dept. store whose
name I don't remember, it's up the street from Fred Meyer's. And they
got out there clubs, and they ran after me yelling 'We're gonna kill you,
goddam faggot, we're gonna kill you, motherfucker.' So I got in the
phonebooth by the Kentucky Fried Chicken on Burnside, held my legs
straight out, like this, so they couldn't open the door to the
phonebooth. So they began charging the phonebooth, beating on it with
their clubs yelling 'We're gonna kill you, motherfucker, we're gonna kill
you, goddam faggot'. I just looked at them. So, there was a crowd
gathering by this time, and these kids were standing nearby, and they
said 'Oh, look at him, he's insane.' I thought, aha, here's my way out,
I yelled at them, 'take me to a mental hospital right away, I wanna be
put away, please put me away, c'mon call the cops and put me away.
Please put me away now!' They said, 'Alright, faggot, we're callin' the
police.' So they called the police, the cop comes out and I go 'Ah, my
savior, and away from these jocks.' He opens up the door. 'Get outta
there, you!' He throws me up against the car, frisks me, shoves me in
the back. Then, he goes over to the jocks. 'Now what happend here?
Looks like we're gonna have to take him to jail, but, we gotta have the
full story first.' So, the jocks, who had an ace in the hole, ace in the
hole-take it down on the bass, little bit down on the bass, yeah- ace in
the hole, they go 'Well goddam, this motherfucker put a dent in my truck,
this 9,000 (?90,000?) dollar truck, right? So I got my club, I went out
and I wanted to kill him. I wanna kill him, let me kill him, goddamit,
let me kill him! So the cop made them go home, and he drove me home, and
he confiscated their club and my rock as further evidence. And I
thought, So this is Oregon, huh? Tolerant Oregon. Ray, are you done
with your guitar, yet? He isn't done yet. So what else do you wanna
hear, I'm outta stories. That's a true story too, just ask..."
"Ray's guitar broke. Now we wanna play rawhide, we'll play anything.
We'll play the theme from the Dinah Shore Show. Who wants to be Dinah
Shore? Who's alter-ego is Dinah Shore? Oh, his fist didn't go up so
quickly this time! Yawn... yawn... yawn... Put them headphones on, it's
bee-bop time. I wanna tell you a story, about the last time I was in
Portland. The night before we played at the Long Goodbye, I was walkin'
on the street about 10:30 at night, a lot of people go to bed around here
at 10:30 at night, and well, I was walkin' along, when suddenly these
jocks in this bright blue pickup drove up. It had KC lights, tractor
tires, everything but the CB. It was a life-sized Hot Wheels car for
some dumb rich kid, right? Well, they drove up to me, and they yelled
what drunk dumb rich kids usually yell, 'Hey faggot!' and showered me
with some water. So, I stood there thinking, what a bunch of fuckheads,
and picked up a rock. Now, I waited, and walked down about a block to
where the Kentucky Fried Chicken is, on Burnside, and sure enough, they
drove around again. They said, 'Hey, faggot, where's the nearest
McDonald's?' I said 'I don't know,' and they squirted me again. So I
THREW THE ROCK! and put a nice-sized dent in their giant Hot Wheels car.
They screeched to a halt in the parking lot of some dept. store whose
name I don't remember, it's up the street from Fred Meyer's. And they
got out there clubs, and they ran after me yelling 'We're gonna kill you,
goddam faggot, we're gonna kill you, motherfucker.' So I got in the
phonebooth by the Kentucky Fried Chicken on Burnside, held my legs
straight out, like this, so they couldn't open the door to the
phonebooth. So they began charging the phonebooth, beating on it with
their clubs yelling 'We're gonna kill you, motherfucker, we're gonna kill
you, goddam faggot'. I just looked at them. So, there was a crowd
gathering by this time, and these kids were standing nearby, and they
said 'Oh, look at him, he's insane.' I thought, aha, here's my way out,
I yelled at them, 'take me to a mental hospital right away, I wanna be
put away, please put me away, c'mon call the cops and put me away.
Please put me away now!' They said, 'Alright, faggot, we're callin' the
police.' So they called the police, the cop comes out and I go 'Ah, my
savior, and away from these jocks.' He opens up the door. 'Get outta
there, you!' He throws me up against the car, frisks me, shoves me in
the back. Then, he goes over to the jocks. 'Now what happend here?
Looks like we're gonna have to take him to jail, but, we gotta have the
full story first.' So, the jocks, who had an ace in the hole, ace in the
hole-take it down on the bass, little bit down on the bass, yeah- ace in
the hole, they go 'Well goddam, this motherfucker put a dent in my truck,
this 9,000 (?90,000?) dollar truck, right? So I got my club, I went out
and I wanted to kill him. I wanna kill him, let me kill him, goddamit,
let me kill him! So the cop made them go home, and he drove me home, and
he confiscated their club and my rock as further evidence. And I
thought, So this is Oregon, huh? Tolerant Oregon. Ray, are you done
with your guitar, yet? He isn't done yet. So what else do you wanna
hear, I'm outta stories. That's a true story too, just ask..."