Well I woke up this morning I was feeling fine
But this cat starts banging man what a swine
So I called reception but to no avail
That's why I'm telling you this sorry tale
He went bang (bang) I said shut up
He went bang (bang) I said wrap up
Well I'm aware that the guy must do his work
But the piledriver man drove me berserk

He said Captain I said what
He said Captain I said what
He said Captain he said what
He said Captain he said what you want

Once a lifetime twice a day
If you dont work you get no pay
I've been to the east I've been to the west
But the girls I like most are the ones undressed
Well hello Adam where you been
I said stand aside 'cos I'm a-feeling mean
I had a gut full of you and I'm a-feeling bad
But youre an ugly old potterer and ain't I glad

He said Captain I said what
He said Captain I said what
He said Captain I said what
He said Captain I said what you want

He said Captain he said what
He said Captain he said what
He said Captain he said what
He said Captain he said what you want